Saturday, December 20, 2014

Light Around The Corner

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt in sl. Over the years i have learned alot of things about life, people and myself. but there's one thing that always nags at me when i stop by at heritage adoption center. I've been in sl five years i've been trying to do the sl family thing for four and what troubles me is how people dont always respond when i IM them telling them that i happen to have liked there panel. I suppose you could say after trying this for the past four years I've become anxious when i try yet again to put another panel up an just hope for the best. I feel like there could be a better way to do the whole adoption process in sl. The whole thing really can make someone feel really alone with no support in trying to find a family. The way i picture it is like a mother giving birth to her child then setting her child on the floor naked an cold an walking out the door saying " good luck kid your on your own" and i guess thats really how ive felt the past four years with this. I've even givin up at times an have taken down my panel all because i feel like im not good enough. Granted over the four years i have had my trial an errors with sl family's trying to adopt me but in the end it doesn't always end well. I wonder if there could be a better way of doing the whole adoption process. Having a few panels up at once an only allowing the children be on the panels whether young or in there twenties an only allowing the panels to be locked until you make an appointment with a guidance counselor to help you with the process. Then having the parents make an appointment with the counselor to meet with them to look over the notecards so that they can contact the child on the panel an tell them they have someone waiting to meet them an that the counselor an the parent in waiting can sit down an talk to see if your compatible with the person. So your never on your own an the children that sign up for the panel can always have a counselor available to talk to about the process. Then if the talking session with the parent an counselor go well then you can go on a 5 day trail an during that time the counselor would make a house call to your sl home to see how things are going. This way you dont get random people who are new to the game an are half dressed an have literately no idea what they are doing an want to adopt. There should be a policy that your account should atleast be a year old before you can try to adopt. My idea would probably never work an its probably way to time consuming being sl is just a game. I think people sometimes forget that feelings are a big part of how sl works an i know that people are probably consumed with other things in rl an distracted with stuff there doing in sl but when you see someone IM you an say that they happen to like your NC an want to chat it would probably be best to IM them back an say "thanks i will read your nc soon an when im done we can chat!" I mean how hard is it to IM someone back? Are people really that self absorbed that our society has lost all its manners? Even for a game you'd think people would be kind but really they arnt .....I've learned alot of people in sl can be very two faced because its easier to lie an say your nice when really there personality could be quite the opposite...So if your reading this remember there are people with feelings behind the screen an if somone IMs you IM them back even if you dont always feel like it....

1 comment:

  1. Having gone through Heritage before, I can tell you that it can be VERY crazy to have a parent panel up, especially if it's a decent looking panel. I received sooo many IMs, some of them very odd, when we had ours up. I did not reply back to most of them because I do not believe in giving someone false hope that I might be interested when I can usually tell by a profile or by the way someone types that I am not.

    If people aren't responding to your panel notecard, you might consider revamping it. Get a really nice picture for the panel, make sure you're not talking in baby talk in your notecard, and be detailed on what you want/need from a prospective parent. What drew me to Brianna's card when we were looking was the fact that it was very cleanly written. With Abby, it was easier because I already knew her through plurk and she was just looking for godparents. That might be another option for you - try for godparents!

    Would it be nice if there were counselors and people who kept up with the adoptees? Sure. But it is SL and even a counselor would not be a guarantee that things would go smoothly. You might try just hanging out at Heritage, or whatever adoption agency you use, just to meet people. I know that if my girls, or some of our kid friends, are bored, they just go up to Heritage and hang out. It's a good place to meet people, kid friends and adult friends, and sometimes that can lead to being invited to family events, which sometimes can lead to adoption.

    One last tip and I'll quit blowing up your comments section... Have longer than a 5 day trial. My family is huge on long trials and I believe this is why we work. Abby was our godchild for over a month before she needed to move in, and she stayed with us for 3 months before we adopted her. Brianna's trial was a great deal shorter, but she was still with us for almost 3 weeks before we made it official. 5 days is not long enough. My family has been burned before by someone like that. Long trials are best!